This is not my ceiling
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
