hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
