We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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