I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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