My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
