whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
