I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize