i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
