All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
