Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
