it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
