JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
