I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize