I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
