yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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