You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
