so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
