Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
