This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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