Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
