I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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