worst night to have a conscience
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
