Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
