the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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