The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
