You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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