that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
