I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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