You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
