i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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