Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
