CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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