is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
