that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
