I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
