laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
