he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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