just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
