Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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