We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
