I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Hippo gnu deer
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
