Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
