Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
