I wish i was in the wii world.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
