Dual....:-)
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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