Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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