its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
