I just pynch a tree in the face
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
then he tried to convert me to islam
you had me at cake vodka
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
