Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
