It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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