Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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