I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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