I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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