So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
