He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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