so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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