yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
