you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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