why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
