Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We talked him into tasing himself.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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