Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
