She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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