ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she peed on how many people?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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