Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
